For people who don’t know me, I have been a person who truly feels like I never really knew or understood myself. Some people can put themselves into a category and accept it. But as a kid, I always felt different from other people. The things I liked and thought about were not truly “common” and many people around me could never understand them. I was a dreamer.
By the time it took me to discover that I am myself and not anyone else, I was already an adult. I could never be myself because I was too focused on what others thought or said about me whether it be negative or positive. Often times I questioned and doubted myself, and let the opinions of others take over the trust in myself. I became indecisive and insecure.
The moment I truly got into self-discovery was when I became a parent. It took adding another identity and role to myself to let shine who I truly was. Helping a small person develop a personality while trying not to lose my own, was an awakening I never knew I needed. As a parent, you become consumed in every action and words your child absorbs that often times you forget about your actions and your voice. In a way, you start almost becoming like your parents because that’s the only way you know because they raised you.
I might sound like I am just blabbering (probably ’cause I am) about self-identity. It’s hard sometimes to put my thoughts into words and my grammar and train of thought is not straightforward. But I am trying my best to share with you my own personal experience.
Lesson I learned about Self-Discovery:
- Don’t doubt yourself.
People will either encourage or criticize what you like, how you dress, or what you do. When people are criticizing you, just know that it is not about you, it is about their own insecurity. Do not doubt who you are.
2. Stay loyal to your calling.
There will be a time when the things you like and share with others will only interest you and no one else inside your social circle (or family). Find a group that shares the same passions as you. Everyone needs to find a tribe they can rely and grow with.
3. It’s okay to change your mind.
As we grow, we change our decisions, encounter new ideas, meet new people and are introduced to novel things. You can be the same person for years if you want to be, because it’s a personal choice. But you can also be a different person, also a personal choice. Your brain is yours to program and you can decide what to you want to add into that memory of yours.
4. It’s never too late and you are never too old.
When I was a teenage high school graduate, I always had pressure to make a decision of what kind of job and future I needed to have. But life is always fluid like water; constantly in flow. You can be in the same place for years, but not be the same person. We age, form relationships, and change jobs. So when people still ask you why you are not married or why you don’t have a stable job, don’t worry about it. It just means that specific journey is not for you yet at that time.
5. Be yourself.
We come off as weird and eccentric when we show people who we truly are. We all have abstract thoughts of how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. No one will know you as well as you know yourself. Show people who you are and do not deter from being you.
These are just my takes on what I’ve learned so far in life. I am nearing 40 and many people have told me I am going through a midlife crisis. But I truly believe it is an inner resurface of a part I’ve forgotten about myself. A part of my soul I neglected because I’ve listen to the voices outside of me instead of my inner voice.
This life if yours to live. It is a blank paper for you to write whatever story you want to write and whatever character you want to play. Be good to yourself, be good to others and share your joys.
DISCLAIMER
***Be yourself but know that there are limits too. And for this one there is a disclaimer. Be yourself but do not judge others, hurt others, abuse others or use others. That is not being yourself because you are taking advantage of others insecurities or innocence.***